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Back on the Grid

Hi everyone,

I am back on the grid after taking a few months to enjoy the Summer.  I really have!

June and July were particularly packed with lots of adventures and activities and I decided to focus on having a real Summer vacation.  Hence no blog posts or LinkedIn updates until now.  There is far too much to cram into a single post so here are links to all the fun: June, July, August

I think I have put more miles on my car in the last 12 weeks than I have in the last year!  Whoa, 12 weeks… It has gone by incredibly fast.

The boys start school on Monday which is NOT a popular topic right now.  As for me, I start working on my plan execution full time.  At least until Jack and I head to Bermuda on September 10th.  Summer isn’t technically over until the 21st, right?!  I know I am incredibly spoiled.

I will work on making this a more regular part of my routine and may be reaching out to some of you for support, feedback and sanity checks.

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August

Is it possible that August is more than half over?  Daily Cross Country practice has begun and the days are starting to get noticeably shorter.

After the kids got back from the beach and I was home from New England we headed South to see a few schools in Baltimore and DC.  Loyola University in Baltimore was nice, Georgetown was impressive if hot and noisy.  We were all pleasantly surprised by American University.  Wanted to see it since we didn’t know much about it and it is a beautiful, very updated campus.  I am excited to see what schools they end up choosing.  Still plenty of time to decide, for now figuring out whether to eat the crab soup, crab cakes or crab legs first is way more important!

We had a VERY brief visit in Charlottesville to celebrate Nick Steele’s college graduation and see the elusive Kate Steele back from her adventures with Americorps and shortly on to her first year at VCU.

So now we are squeezing the last bits of Summer fun during the last 2 weeks before school starts.  A trip to Bethlehem for Musikfest (if you have never heard of it check it out at: http://www.musikfest.org) to get ice cream sandwiches the size of their head! Tickets to see the Avett Brothers with Tom and Courtney which was so much fun despite the crazy weather.  Hiking to see Glen Onoko Falls outside of Jim Thorpe, PA where we kept losing track of the trail markers and had to find our own way.  Finally, Friday will be our last attempt to go to the beach.  Finally, forecast calls for sunny skies so we won’t have to resort to setting up Magee beach in the basement again!

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July

July was filled with family!  Mark and Matt both had to get their wisdom teeth out so we decided to get it done early this month.  Luckily there were no complications or any significant issues so we got it off the list with minimal impact to our Summer fun.  Within a week we were out and about visiting colleges in PA.  Mark is interested in going to schools more than an hour from home and South!  He doesn’t like the cold so no plans to attend Holy Cross.  I am not too sad since HC is so expensive, but most of the schools we have visited are equally intimidating!

John and Susanne were in town from London for their annual visit.  They stayed on the East Coast this year so we got to spend quality time with them.  I even took a road trip to West Virginia to spend a couple of days in an Air BNB with Mimi, John and Susanne.  It was a quick trip, but loved hiking and driving through the mountains.  Cooking delicious meals and grooving to Mimi and John’s tunes!

John and Mark had an eldest sibling bonding afternoon golfing at the Independent park (http://www.uppermac.org/independent-park/) free pitch and putt course. John won but Mark gave him a run for his money!  Thanks so much for the clubs Priscilla!!!

Of course the big event of the Summer was mom and dad’s 80th Birthday party.  We had a fabulous dinner made by Local Mama Catering and a spontaneous dance party initiated by the youngest member of our crew Reid Landau.

Have you ever heard of Lake Ariel in the Poconos?  It is a quaint private lake with beautiful homes and cabins lining either side.  We have been a few times and it is always nice to relax by the lake.  There are tons of fun water sports too.  Kayaking, fishing (I didn’t catch anything but the boys and Jack caught many!), tubing (I always get dumped!), and new this year – paddleboard.  I wasn’t too sure about the paddleboard at first, but once I got the hang of it, it was really fun!  Sorry, no pics of me on the water…

So then the kids went to Wildwood with Dad… what’s a mom to do?  Get in the car and see friends!  I was so thrilled that I was able to meet up with Laura and Chris in Massachusetts – thank you again for your hospitality Laura! I spent 2 days in Maine with Cheri and her family. Cheri and I did more kayaking in the ocean this time from Cape Porpoise Harbor (no we didn’t see any) to Goat Island (no goat sightings either) http://www.coastalmainekayak.com/kayakandsuptours/.  We DID get to climb up the light house and chose not to ring the bell since our ears were still ringing from the others…  Kennebunk and Kennebunkport are such cute towns.  I don’t know that I would like sharing my hometown with so many tourists, but Cheri is the BEST tour guide and I had such a great visit.  I even got a wardrobe upgrade https://cheripoulin.cabionline.com/ with my own personal stylist.  Much needed Cheri!  On the long trip home, I stopped in New York to have lunch with Christi and Gonzallo.  We all realized that we don’t live that far from each other and we need to see each other more often!  Anyone going to Homecoming?

What else did I learn?  I am not alone in my frustration with work.  The stories are all different, but too many of my friends are unhappy with where they work from Accounting to nursing or IT.  So many are working incredibly long hours for organizations who either don’t share their values, are completely disorganized and waste the time of talented people because their systems are a mess, are punishing for performance by assigning more and more workload.  Seems to be an epidemic out there.  How can we be leaders in the working world and help change this?  I am determined to find or create reasonable working conditions for myself and commit to doing what I can to ensure those who work for or with me have a better experience.

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June

It’s impossible to pick a single highlight for June! I made 2 trips to the beach – once with and once without kids.  Both were great fun.  I attended the Lehigh Valley Chamber of Commerce Women’s summit just days after I left work.  I made a few great contacts and listed to inspirational talks, but realized I needed a break before tackling my next career move.  Time to breathe!

I had an amazing experience traveling to Aguascalientes, Mexico to spend time with Jack while he was on an extended business trip.  I loved exploring the city and meeting Jack’s generous and welcoming colleagues.  We topped off the trip with a weekend excursion to San Miguel de Allende.  This is a gorgeous city in the heart of Mexico with beautiful architecture, amazing views and fun fiestas and markets.  While we enjoyed the bus tour of the city, we also had a great time wandering the narrow streets, exploring and getting lost among the colorful buildings and beautiful gardens.  This town is more of a tourist spot than Aguascalientes and is a bit more expensive.  Still hard not to imagine what it would be like to live here in the beautiful mountains of central Mexico!

How can I top that?  How about tickets to the U2 concert with one of my dearest best friends!  I never knew there was a venue in Newark, but it was a great place to see a concert.  We had nosebleed seats, but had a perfect view of the long stage and screens.  Thank you for going with me Abby!

OK, so it wasn’t all fun and games.  It felt so good to get some housework done too. Turns out there is a desk under the pile of papers in my living room.  If you remember way back then, we actually had some nice weather in June and I was able to stain my deck, clean out my garage and randomly I decided to rip out the carpet from my front stairway and finish the pine steps rather than replace the rug.  It turned out pretty well.

 

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I did it!

Friday was my last day!   The weeks flew by so fast and I was as busy as ever until the very end.  Even woke up in a panic Thursday night thinking about something I didn’t finish that day.  Crazy, right?

Friday at 1, I turned in my work computer and with it all the unread emails and unanswered questions.  Whatever was done was done and anything else will get wiped from the PC!  I immediately started to feel a little lighter as I spent the next hour and a half walking around saying goodbye, collecting hugs and well-wishes.  I finally grabbed by backpack that was stuffed with the remaining contents of my desk and made a run for it… forgetting my desk lamp in the process.  Someone will help me collect that later :).

It was a very interesting last few weeks as folks learned of my plans.  Reactions fell in different categories…

  • happy – most people are genuinely happy for me
  • jealous – people saying they wish they could do what I’m doing – I know I am lucky to be in a financial position to do this as well as to have the faith in myself that it is all going turn out for the best
  • scared – what will we do without you? won’t you stay a little longer?  No…
  • dubious- what are you going to do? fine question, but some people had lots of follow up questions like I needed to know all the answers right now.  I don’t need to have that answer right now! Remind me of that when I start doubting myself!
  • inspired – A few people thinking a bit more seriously about their own choices and options.  How fun!
  • insane – ‘I hope you have a husband to help you with this’.  <sigh> I guess I need a man to help me in 2018 (OK, only one person said this, but it was one too many!)

After all that, this has been a pretty normal weekend.  It will all start to sink in when I can meet Kate for coffee Monday morning, go to lunch with Sandy and still get the boys to their dentist appointment.  I promise, I will find some more exciting things to do before the Summer is over, but even a simple day like this is a luxury to me.

Let the Radical Sabbatical begin!

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Counting my blessings

This has been such a nice weekend!  Got to spend a gorgeous Spring Saturday with Jack.  We spent most of our day going for a long bike ride on the Columbia Trail in New Jersey.  About 10 miles round trip from High Bridge to Califon Borough and back.  Definitely recommend stopping at Bex Kitchen for lunch or a snack.  The ride back was quick and we (OK Jack) managed to get the lawn mowed before the skies opened up.  The rain did’t stop us from having our first cookout of the season.

Today felt more like October than late April, but perfectly fine for getting a few outdoor chores done.  Laundry is put away, groceries in the fridge and ready for a new week.  I even got to see my kids briefly (it’s a dad weekend) when they dropped off Matt’s bike. Topped everything off with family dinner at my sister Kate’s.

When I stop to think about all the wonderful things in my life it is almost overwhelming.  It is so easy to complain sometimes, but I really, really have it so good:  My kids, my family, Jack, so many supportive friends, even my ex-husband (we’ve coma a long way!).  I am blessed that I have had a good, well paying, flexible (if demanding) job that has allowed me to support my family and save enough money to leave and pursue something else.  Several people have told me how jealous they are that I am leaving.  Taking time off of work is a luxury that most can’t afford for many reasons and I am truly grateful for the circumstances that are making it possible.

-Marian

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The word is getting out!

It’s funny how a decision becomes more real the more people know about it.  Now that the team I work with on a daily basis knows that I am leaving the company on June 1st, the word is starting to spread.  I have seen a variety of reactions, some shocked and others who didn’t believe it was true.  For the most part, folks are genuinely happy for me and a number are downright jealous.  It is humbling when people I have worked with for years and regard highly express how sad they are that I am leaving and a little  awkward when people I hardly know express the same sentiments.

Most important is I finally had an opportunity to sit and talk about it with my parents this week.  My dad in particular is such an influence on me and I, the one who loves to please people, most especially want to have my Dad’s approval!  No surprise both my parents are incredibly supportive and understanding.  Not sure why I was worried that my Dad would scold me and try to talk me out of it.  He trusts my judgement and that I am not making a rash decision.  It will be fun spending more time with them this Summer.

Of course there are a few core people who have known for ages.  My sister in Virginia practically jumped thru the phone when I told her I was ‘thinking about’ no ‘I AM’ taking a radical sabbatical.  ‘Yes! Do it! Do it now!’  She has been hearing me complain about my job off an on for years now.  It has been a love hate relationship and it is time to break up.  My dear twin sister listened and said it sounded like a cool idea.  The next time I mentioned it, she was shocked!  ‘You’re really going to do it?!’  Who can blame her, I have talked about quitting or finding another job before, but this time I’m doing it.  My boyfriend is so supportive and patient.  I have pondered many potential ideas of new jobs or businesses I could start.  Sometimes I have to say an idea out loud to realize how ridiculous it is.  He just listens and is convinced I have no idea what I really want to do, but is very encouraging and happy for me.  It is true I don’t really know, and even if I am leaning towards one idea, nothing is off the table right now.  I have months to figure it all out!  My two teenage sons are pretty nonchalant about the whole thing.  They just think it will be weird that I will be around all Summer.  Summer is when they spend lots of time with their Dad because he is a teacher with Summers off and I always have project deadlines!

Yep, this is real and June 1st can’t get here fast enough!

-M

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My Radical Sabbatical

So maybe the concept of taking time off from work to discern what I really want to do next is not all that radical.  I loved the concept of it when reading How to find Fulfilling Work by Roman Krznarik.  Now I find there are blogs, TED talks, another best selling book that’s being turned into a movie!  Lots of people are doing it, but for me it is a totally radical thing to do!  Being free-spirited and spontaneous is not exactly what I am known for.

Level-headed, practical, dedicated and loyal to a fault.  That’s more like me, but it is wearing me into the ground.  25 years in IT as a Business Analyst, Project Manager, Development Lead, SCRUM Master, Applications Manager, Help Desk Supervisor… you get the picture.  Long hours, late night conference calls, missing family dinners and kids’ events, all for what?  So the fortune 500 company I work for can make more money for shareholders?

Don’t get me wrong, I like what I do and I am really good at it, but lately I feel stagnated.  It’s time for a new challenge, but what is it?  I don’t know!  I just gave notice that I am leaving work in six weeks and I plan to take the Summer off (maybe more) to relax, spend time with the people I love and think about what the future holds.

My Homework for the next 6 weeks (in addition to my work transition plan)

  • Read – any suggestions?
  • Schedule lunches with friends and friends of friends and talk about what’s possible – again, any suggestions?
  • Write – will try this blog and maybe a more professional blog – I’m new to this so constructive feedback is welcome
  • Plan the summer – beach, college tours with the boys, NYC, New England –  my radical sabbatical!

-M